No, You Suck!

Just in case you were wondering...

I got your suck right here, lady!

Ball Talk

When I was a little girl, I thought all boys were stinky. Now that I'm a big girl, I know all boys are stinky. Whether it's flatulence, beer breath or cheese feet, there always seems to be some foul odor emanating from the average male. But here's something I never thought about.  Ball sweat.  That is until recently, when I became aware of a product that will benefit any man with a smelly, sweaty undercarriage. That's right.  I'm lookin' at you, mister.  It's a long over-due product called Fresh Balls.  Their website says "... it won’t clump on your skin or leave a powdery residue in your pants."   Really?  Men actually powder their balls?  Why did I not know this?   Men are hilarious!

As soon as I became aware of this little tidbit, I found myself Googling sweaty balls (and who of us hasn't?) and came across a men's forum where they were discussing the powdering of balls.  This was my favorite: 

"Real men shave their balls in a warm shower, then spray lavender Febreze (yes, on the balls), then sprinkle baby powder, then a second spray of lavender Febreze (in that EXACT order). Don't question the method, just try it. Your nuts will be tap-dancing in your pants. It's really a life of luxury for your boys and it just feels right, ya know."   No, I didn't know.  But I'm for anything that tap-dances in my pants.

And my favorite post found in a bodybuilding forum by a guy extolling the virtues of his balls:

"Some have compared my crotch to a warm Georgia summer with the children playing duck duck goose and grandma making fresh-squeezed lemonade in front while Uncle Biff changes the oil in his '55 Chevy."  I want to live in this man's pants!

My advice to all you malodorous men out there who want to keep your bean bags fresh, have your grandmother knit you a nice ball cozy or, oh...I don't know...maybe take a shower!!

Gay? OK!!

Looking for something fun & unique to express your gayness? (Suddenly I'm aware that gayness rhymes with anus!) Introducing Little Midge. Here she is waving her little rainbow flag, all set to march in the Pride parade. She isn't gay but that's OK.  As far as she's concerned, all boys are stinky. Little Midge is available at Ticklemonkey. Just click on the link below.

I GOT YOUR GAY RIGHT HERE, LADY!

eeww

 

The train home from work today smelled of man feet.

Skanky Noodle

Penne for your thoughts?

This street walking pasta in fishnets would make a fun and unique addition to any magnet collection.   Slap this noodle on your fridge.  She likes it!

Pastatute Magnet by Taylor Addams

Fowl Balls

In the mood for a little Chinese? Dress up your iPhone 4 with this scrumptious chicken skin!

It's a Fact

I have 117 pairs of black socks.  I just thought you should know.

Aliens!

I'm currently working on a series of alien mugshots, which will eventually be available on products to buy at Ticklemonkey. The aliens are residents of the planet Gluxor and the mugshots are from the files of the Gluxor Police Department.

 Elroy has a handsome combover, often seen on the extraterrestrial cranium.

Want to learn how to draw a cartoon alien?  Check out this instructional video by Bob Ostrom here.

Smokin' Chick

I drew this because...well, I am.

Smokin’ Chick Poster by Taylor Addams.

Most of my drawings, including this one, are drawn and colored using a free software program called SmoothDraw. The felt pen is great for drawing cartoons. Very smooth. I sometimes use Paint Shop Pro or Photoshop if I want to use effects or filters. But for drawing and coloring cartoons, you don't really need to spend any money.

This happy little dog was drawn, quartered and colored using Smoothdraw.  No money spent.  Just a little time.  See how cute free can be?  You can download SmoothDraw here.

Woof

Nothing today.  Just woof.

2011...Really?!

Wow!  I haven't blogged since 2009!! How the heck did that happen? Do I really watch that much television?!  I guess I've been busy with my day job, drawing cartoons for Ticklemonkey and I’m just back from an extensive stint shaving wild bush poodles in the Serengeti.  This I do for charity.  So, onward and upward, as they say…and just a little to the left.

One of my favorite cartoon characters of late is this goofy gopher, who looks slightly stunned.  I'm guessing the paparazzi caught him by surprise.  Also, he's naked. I can't begin to tell you how many times this has happened to me. 

Cartoon Gopher Mousepad by Taylor Addams

A little more on the cutesy side is this little baby dragon, shown here on a Speck iPad case.  I spent a lot of time on this little guy getting him just right.  This is definitely my favorite cartoon character in the non-goofball category.

Baby Dragon iPad Case by Taylor Addams

 All of my cartoon drawings are available on a great selection of products at Ticklemonkey.